Sonic '06 Alternate Ending
by Milo F. Waters
Summary: Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 has been frequently called one of the worst games of all time. Part of why is the abysmal story. This is my take on the game's infamous ending. Warning: Contains profane language.


Premise: Another take on the ending to one of the worst video games of all time! When Elise and Sonic (somehow) have the chance to kill the game's villain in the past before any of the plot could happen, Elise actually starts crying because erasing the villain would mean she doesn't get to meet Sonic whom she's in love with now. Sonic, in this version, does not take her choice well.

At long last the fight with Solaris was over. Sonic, Shadow and Silver, all at the peak of their power, managed to overpower the tyrannical god and seemed to restore the timeline before it devolved into a literal ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff.

Just as things seemed to be in order, however, Sonic and the damsel responsible for bringing him back from near-death, Princess Elise the Third, found themselves in front of a blinding light. As they moved closer they found themselves about ten years in the past. They watched a brief scene between a younger Elise and her now-late father discuss the miraculous applications of a small white flame. The duo knew, somehow, that this was the origin of Solaris.

After being left alone, Elise walked towards the flame and realized the implication of the moment.

"This is where everything began," she realized, "Who knew such a tiny flame could bring such devastation?" She then picks up the miniscule flame as it flickered harmlessly. "If we put out this flame, Solaris will never exist. And then we'll never have to worry about the Flames of Disaster, right?"

Sonic grinned at the thought, but Elise was suddenly overwrought with grief. "But our encounter... You and I will never meet. It will never have happened. I... To tell the truth, I don't care what happens to the world!" She begins to sob and choke on her words. Sonic paused for a moment as her words sunk in.

"E-Elise? You don't really mean that, right? I-I mean think about your kingdom! All those people won't have to live in fear of Solaris anymore! Eggman won't ever come after you! Heck, you won't even remember that either of those things happened!"

"B-b-but I won't get to know you! You're the first person I've ever gotten close to! I can't go back to being alone!" she whined, throwing off his comfort. Sonic, realizing that this girl was indeed serious about letting the world go to hell in a handbasket again because of him, felt a small pang of guilt. That guilt quickly gave way to unyielding rage.

"Are you kidding me?"

"So-Sonic, what's wrong?" Elise asked, clueless as always.

"What's wrong?! I'll tell you what's wrong! You've got the answer to all your problems in your hand and you won't take it because of me?! What's the matter with you?! That has to be the most selfish thing I've ever heard! And that's counting Eggman!"

"B-but Sonic-"

"No buts, you idiot! I've been trying so hard to be reasonable, to be there for you, to make sure everything is okay, but now you're willing to blow it all because of me?! FUCK THAT!"

"S-Sonic, your language!"

"Oh, what, you obviously don't care about anyone besides yourself, bitch, so why should I hold back?! Do you have any idea what my friends and I have gone through for you?! You got captured five times! Five. Fucking. Times! In the span of a few days to boot! And every single fucking time either me or Amy had to save your ass because you can't bothered to just stay in your castle!"

"I-I couldn't help it, though…He just kept showing up everywhere!"

"Really?! Because I seem to remember that last time Eggman threatened Soleanna for the Chaos Emeralds. And you went and HANDED YOURSELF TO HIM ON A SILVER PLATTER! I mean, for fuck's sake, really?! Don't you have a royal guard? A bunker to hide in?! Some allied kingdoms that want to help, anything?! What was the point of all that?!"

"I-I wanted to keep Soleanna safe so I-"

"Well now you don't apparently, because you just said 'I don't care what happens to the world!' How fucking childish can you get?! You're 17! Grow up already!"

"I-it's not my fault," she insisted as she somehow continued sobbing, "I had the flames in me, I couldn't do anything about it!"

"Exactly! You apparently are so willing to get me, you want to relive the shitfest of your childhood! That's what you said, right?"

"W-well not exactly-"

"BULLSHIT! You must think I'm quite the catch if you want to go back to your kingdom worshipping a god out of fear! I bet your all your subjects wouldn't appreciate you shouting 'Fuck the world! I want my Sonic!'"

"I…I…I-"

"And let's not get into the fact that this cost your father his life! Guess he must be the worst father EVER if you're willing to overlook THAT little detail if it means more me, right?! That's insane and awful!"

"B-but-"

"And while we're on the subject of people dying, how about the entire world almost getting bent over and fucked?! All of the billions and billions of people who almost bit the dust thanks to Solaris must have really ticked you off if you're so eager to cast them off?! What'd they do, forget your birthday?"

"Sonic, please I-"

"And while we're on the subject of deaths, what about Blaze?! According to Silver she's now stuck in another dimension or, if you aren't in denial, THE AFTERLIFE! And she didn't come back when Solaris turned time and space into his playground either! She is fucking dead, but who cares, right?! You still got me, eh princess?!"

"I-I didn't-"

"Oh, and on top of that, YOU DIED! Eggman's ship went haywire and crashed meaning you and he both got obliterated! I'm no expert, but I think someone wanting to relive their own death is certifiably FUCKING CRAZY!"

"I-I just wanted you-"

"Really?! Then did you maybe remember when Mephiles murdered me?! Gee, if I had to pick between you and NOT getting an energy spear through the fucking chest, I'd go with the latter! That just takes heartbreak too literally! Got that, princess?!"

"Okay, I get it, already! You can stop now!"

"No, because I still don't think you get it! All the sacrifices my friends made, which in this case means some literal lives, apparently means jack shit to you if we can't have met., what is up with you?! I know I'm a catch, but this is just ridiculous! What's so important that the entire world can go blow up for all you care?!"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" Elise shouted, having finally found her voice. Sonic was rendered speechless, a rare sight to behold.

"Alright, there I said it! You're the first one to ever be so kind to me! You got me to open up and see the world! I don't want to go back to that again! I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Sonic!"

The hedgehog remained stunned for an unprecedented amount of time. Then he looked at Elise dead in the eyes, the light of the infant Solaris making them seem even brighter, and laughed his head off. He continued to do so for a solid eight minutes before he looked up to see that this was not a practical joke as he first thought.

"You're kidding, right? Please tell me you're kidding and start laughing with me or else this will get beyond awkward."

Elise looked ready to cry once again. Sonic promptly lost his patience once again.

"You're for real right now? You think you LOVE me?! What do you even know about me?! I've known you for less than a week! How could I possibly love you when all I've been doing in that time is rescuing your dumb ass, trying to convince Silver I'm not evil and, oh yeah, DYING!"

"W-we had moments alone. You got to smile and laugh for the first time in so long…You spent the whole time being so supportive and understanding-"

"Because I HAD to, you moron! Pissing off the girl who will release apocalypse if she so much as cries is, and this may surprise you, a BAD IDEA! So I put on a brave face and tried to keep you content so the world didn't blow up. Happy?"

"B-but you mean…you don't feel any different now?"

"No. Why would I?"

"Because we…you know…"

Sonic paused trying to guess the princess was implying. He eventually came to a conclusion too horrific for him to fathom, but spoke it anyways.

"You mean that kiss, don't you?"

Elise nodded, actually smiling at remembering the event. Sonic, who up until this point had merely been irritated and fed up with the princess, became enraged.

"THAT SETTLES IT, YOU ARE CRAZY! You honestly think you kissing me, while I'm almost dead, makes us a couple?!"

Elise nodded again, somehow still clueless as to how this could make him upset.

"Okay then, since you in your infinite fucking stupidity apparently don't see a problem, let me spell them out. One: I was unconscious at the time. Yes, it was to save my life, but unconsciousness DOES NOT equal consent! If I wanted to, I could call this sexual assault! Two: I want you to look at me, Elise. Really look at me. Then look at yourself. Do you see anything different?"

"So we're a little different, what's the problem?"

"'A little different?!' We're not even compatible! My last name is practically me species, for crying out loud! How did you think this was going to work?! I don't have any form of genitals, you ditz! Needless to say, but that's pretty important if you wanted this whole arrangement to work out. Which it won't either physically or emotionally because frankly I don't even remotely like you now, let alone have any attraction to the girl who wants to royally fuck the entire planet for one guy."

"S-Sonic?!"

"Hold up, I'm not done yet! Three: Wasn't Amy there when I needed someone to bring me back to life?"

"Y-yeah? So?"

"SO?! Why couldn't she do it?! As much as she might annoy me, I at least trust her more than you! We've known each other for years, she's the same age as me, she's the same SPECIES as me and I know she'd be more focused on saving the world instead of getting off on that! Which brings me to four: If you were genuinely attracted to the thought of kissing an almost-dead person, I'm pretty sure that counts as NECROPHILIA! If it weren't for Solaris, I would be attacking YOU for that little stunt, princess. Now blow out that candle or let me do it."

"S-Sonic no! I can't live without you!"

"Well too bad, because I want nothing to do with you! Get this through your head, Elise! Your little 'I don't care what happens to the world' remark made me lose any and all FRIENDLY and PLATONIC feelings I might have had towards you. I'll admit I did feel sorry for you. Your childhood sucked. Your dad royally fucked up and forced you to fix it, I get that. But since that damn festival you have done absolutely nothing to fix the situation but clasp your hands and pray that someone can save you. You had YEARS to fix whole Flames of Disaster thing, but you never did anything about it! Why not make it so you physically CAN'T cry so there's no fear of Iblis getting out? Why not just keep somebody around, a confidante or something, so you don't have to shut off your emotions? How about maybe GROWING A SPINE so one person dying who you met a few days ago doesn't mean the end of the world?! And maybe learn to stop. Getting. Kidnapped! Get a security guard! Stay in your palace until we took care of Eggman! At least carry a weapon for fuck's sake! Hell, Shadow works for G.U.N. now. Ask him and he'd get you something to protect yourself with in an instant! But no, just let me keep saving you until you die, thanks to your own damn decision, so let me time travel to save your dumb ass FOR THE FIFTH TIME! And then there's this. You actually told me the world doesn't matter so you could spend more time with me. That isn't romantic, it's fucking sick. And falling in love with someone you practically just met isn't sweet, it's pathetic. You are beyond selfish, helpless, needy and have done nothing since we've been here but blame your problems on someone else! I won't let you endanger literally everyone just so can suck my nonexistent dick, you hopeless, insensitive crybaby! Now give me that candle so I can forget this clusterfuck ever happened."

Elise had actually stopped crying quite some time ago. She would have thought after a decade of not being able to shed a tear she would never stop, but Sonic's rant had taken everything out of her. All she felt was self-loathing and a serious need to forget this entire experience. She handed the candle over to Sonic who blew it out without a second thought. And with that breath, history was rewritten so Solaris, and by extension Iblis and Mephiles, were no more. Time was forever rewritten so the pair would never meet and this godawful story never happened.


End file.
